I was thinking about how instant our world is these days. Everything seems to happen so quickly. And then I started thinking about relationships, and how they are just as rapid as a trip to the McDonald’s drive-through. And this led me to thinking about how different relationships would have been years ago, back when my parents were young (a million years ago, I mean). Here’s my take on things, doing almost no research. Oh, and none of this is based on personal experience. I just want to point that out.
Have a fun night out with my girlfriends, totally sober. Meet a boy at a drive-in movie theatre. Talk politely, then give him my phone number. Go home and write in diary about how cute he is and how much he needs to call. Stare at the landline in the kitchen and listen to romantic songs on tape.
Patiently wait three days for him to call, though spend lots of time chatting with friends on the phone.
After allotted wait-time, he finally calls. Spend 15 minutes hyperventilating into pillow after talking to him and call friends.
Discover that sisters listened in on the conversation with the boy, because the house has only one landline. Angrily demand that parents get more landlines.
Sulk in room. Write more poetry in diary.
Agree to meet for a formal date. Go for an ice cream and consider holding hands. Chicken out. Plan to write about it in diary.
Agree to several other dates, all formal and proper. Introduce to family. Father approves.
Get drunk with friends and go to a 3,000+ person party. Meet a random boy.
Become Facebook friends.
Twitter stalk. Actually, social media stalk. (Does he have Pinterest? Wait – do his ex-girlfriends have wedding boards?!)
Have sober conversation via Facebook chat. Notice things in common and mutual friends.
Exchange actual cellphone numbers.
Refuse to text him first, but spend hours checking your phone and whining to friends.
Finally he texts. Agree to go for coffee.
Spend 15 minutes hyperventilating because everything makes you look super pale. Consider going shopping. Text roommate.
Leave house 20 minutes early. Panic. Spend 25 minutes filling up your car. Show up late.
Goes well. Text Mom and tell her met a new boy. She promises not to tell Dad.
Tonaya Marr can answer all of your relationship questions, so send her an e-mail at tonaya.m...@gmail.com or tweet her @TonayaMarr.