Here is another fact about me, I watch Survivor. A few years ago it became our family tradition. Every new season is like a little holiday, which we always enjoy together.
Through the years Survivor became something almost like the Wheel of Fortune: even if you never really watch it, you know what it is about. Many will argue that the contemporary show doesn’t have much to do with real surviving and the original concept. Today it’s more about the social, rather than physical survival. And even though it’s not a reality show, in a way it actually does mirror the changes in our society. And that’s what I like about the show.
It’s hard to say, if the producers to a point orchestrate the game so it would reflect what’s going on in the real world, or if the shifts that we are going through are strong enough to affect the game realities, in which the $1 million prize can justify almost anything. One way or the other, when played in Survivor, the current realities are brought to the table to become a part of the big discourse.
So the last episode of the show happened to focus on one of the biggest social problems, sexual harassment and power imbalance.
One of the players named Dan was spotted many times by cameramen (and so by millions of viewers all around the world) with his uninvited hands on female participants. It took quite a few episodes for this bomb to explode.
One of the women, Kellee, literally told him not to touch her in the very first episode. And while he left her alone at that point (and soon after they became parts of different tribes), that notice didn’t prevent him from practising the same habits with other women, rubbing their toes, putting hands over them, touching scalps and so on.
When the two players got reunited, the problem came to light again. Kellee brought it up to another woman and the chain reaction, consisting of tears, denials, touching moments of sharing experience, lies and misrepresentation, started. And while strategically for most of the participants Dan wasn't a target to get rid of, one of the players formulated her position saying that for her “mental health” it would be better if he was gone.
It would be quite straight forward if at that point they would either talk to him or vote him out. Kelle formulated her concerns quite well:
“It’s super upsetting because it’s like you can’t do anything about it. There are always consequences for standing up. This happens in real life, in work settings, in school. You can’t say anything because it’s going to affect your upward trajectory. It’s going to affect how people look at you.”
After this confession, the showrunners actually addressed the problem and talked to all the participants. However then very quickly this sexual impropriety turned into a power “card” (a word used by one of the players). And while Kellee’s feeling felt quite real, the other two female participants agreed that they weren't too uncomfortable with Dan and played this to further their game, blindsiding the victim and actually getting read of her.
Dan, who was inappropriate no matter which way you look at it, hardly apologized when the showrunners wouldn’t let it go. Another male participant used classic nobody came to me about it, so it couldn’t be such a big deal.
The entire incident strongly resonated with reality, but unlike in the big world the victim, who felt uncomfortable and probably unsafe, but didn’t feel empowered to act, actually had video evidence (and even that didn't help her to escape the repercussions of speaking up).
I believe we are going through a historic seismic shift in gender relations. We are not there yet. But now we find old us on a new, still-moving map. And our markers, signs and views that we used to help navigate through relationships with other human beings, they are off for many.
Our social platforms are not done shifting to the new reality yet, and many people tend to stick to the norms known to them and devalue situations that used to be below the radars before.
Sexual harassment cases are being brought to light more and more often nowadays. Very rarely they are false, but unfortunately quite often they are manipulated and played exactly like in the situation above. And every time something like that happens, it pushes us back again, leaving unknown victims in the darkness of fear and abuse and re-empowering those resisting this overdue seismic shift.
