A little while ago, I was telling a friend at school that I had been using all of my spare time to watch The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. I was explaining that I was obsessed with the characters, and was losing hours of precious sleep because I just wanted to watch show after show after show.
Another classmate was listening in, and when my rant had wound down, she looked at me and said "You're so freakin' weird... I love how you own it."
Now, personally I don't believe that watching The Vampire Diaries is weird at all. There are a lot of people who are as obsessed as I am, though many of them are probably 17-years-old.
But I was incredibly flattered by that terrific (and maybe a little backhanded) compliment. How nice is it to hear that someone appreciates the fact that you're different and true to yourself?
In my early years at the Estevan Comprehensive School (Grade 9-10), I was deathly afraid of being myself. As a brace-faced, Harry Potter-loving book nerd, I didn't feel comfortable revealing my interests to my classmates or teammates. I was pretty sure they'd laugh in my face when I admitted that I'd rather read fan fiction online than watch TV, or that I had to look up most of the things they talked about on Urban Dictionary after school ("Oh ... that haha. I thought you were talking about something else ...")
I honestly thought I was destined to wander the world alone, because no one would ever accept me being me. So I was weak and blended in as best I could.
The last few years of high school drew me out of my shell, slowly. I opened up and shared a few of my quirks, and for the most part, the true friends I had made were happy to accept me; plus, most of them were pretty weird too. Of course, there were setbacks, including a boyfriend in Grade 12 who was happy to ridicule the aspects of my personality I was ashamed of.
In a couple of months, it'll be four years since I graduated from high school. I've definitely shed the walls I put up to hide who I am. I've realized that being quirky is one of the best things about me, something the 14-year-old version of myself would never have believed.
For example, I usually suck at talking to people my own age. I think it's because I'm pretty brutal at small talk. But, lucky for me, I've found a career that harnesses what I'm good at: talking to people older or those younger than I am, and doing interviews, which are the furthest thing from small talk. Being self-aware and comfortable with me has made this a strength that I work at every day.
What I'm getting at - in the midst of my self-esteem high - is that it's all right to be yourself, even if you have braces, fuzzy hair and wish Ron Weasley was a real person so you could marry him. The things that make you strange are also the things that make you great. You just need to figure out what your quirks are and own them.
Tonaya Marr is careful to throw out the price tags from new clothing before her boyfriend comes across them. She is scared of what will happen when he finds out how much money she spends. To reach Tonaya, send her an e-mail at tonaya.marr@gmail.com or send her a tweet @TonayaMarr.
