I was covering an event last week at a school in Estevan, and saw something that bothered me deeply.
An assembly was being held at the school, and as I waited to get my photos, I noticed a boy who seemed to be very troubled. The boy obviously did not feel comfortable at the event-although I’m unsure why he was unsettled-to the point where tears were pouring down his face, and in an attempt to disassociate himself from the situation, he was covering his face with his hat to avoid having to speak to teachers.
While I won’t say which school I was attending, I will say that the staff handled the situation fantastically. They treated the boy with dignity and respect, and it was clear from the way the faculty was interacting with the young man that they truly cared about his well-being, so kudos to those staff members.
What truly bothered me about the situation is that it reminded me how easy it is to brush off the issues that our youth deal with, because we see their issues as “kid problems,” and something they will move past.
I’m young enough to remember my times in middle and high school, and I remember times when I felt truly alone, like no one understood, or cared to understand my problems, and I grew up largely before this age of social media took hold.
We live in a world that has become dominated by appearances, and cliques, and bullying has become more extreme than ever.
When I was around that boy’s age, somewhere in the realm of eight or nine, bullying was definitely an issue at school, but when you left school for the day, the issues were over as well, at least until the next day. Youth nowadays do not find that same solace.
Children that are bullied may find themselves being harassed online even after they have left school for the day, and that constant threat of harassment can take a serious toll on a person’s mind.
I think now, more than ever, is the time to take interest in young people’s mental health. We, as adults, must constantly strive to show these children that they can escape torment and find happiness, and that things will get better for them if they persevere.
I encourage any parents who are reading this column to take interest in their children’s lives. Now I know what you’re saying, “Of course I take interest in my kids lives, I’m their parent!” but what I mean is, try to not only be a parent, be a friend at moments where your children truly need one, and I’m saying this not only to parents but to anyone who has children in their lives, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.
If your child is quiet and disconnected, try taking an interest in their hobbies. If they spend their days playing video games, ask them if they could show you how to play, even if you have no interest in learning. A simple act like that can make a young person feel like someone is trying to help them.
I remember growing up I loved video games, and I constantly wanted to show my mom and dad cool things in the games I played, but they had no interest in video games, and not once did they sit down and play them with me.
Now this isn’t to say my parents didn’t take an interest in my life, I had and still have two amazing parents who have helped me with every challenge I’ve ever faced, but I’ve often wondered about how cool it would have been to have sat down and played video games with them, or showed them a song I liked and had them take an interest in the music, even if it was only to please me.
I also think we need to teach our children and youth in our communities how disingenuous social media can be, and that the photos they see of people living “amazing lives” are actually usually just staged re-creations of what those people want their lives to appear like. Nobody is perfect, not even the new age social media stars.
I also believe there needs to be funding for increased youth mental health awareness programs, and I’m not talking about the old-school idea of having someone in a cheap suit tell their kids how they are feeling is normal. We need to learn that although children don’t have everything figured out, they know their emotions better than anyone else, and we need to create a service that allows troubled youth to truly express their feelings, while not being subjected to mental health questions that they aren’t sure how to properly answer.
I believe the reason we as a society have seen so many recent reports of young people committing terrible crimes like shootings, has nothing to do with guns or knives, but the fact that kids are so upset with their lives, and feel so hurt and alone, that violence ends up being the only solution they see.
Mental health in young women is an issue that I believe receives much more attention than that of young men, whereas both should be receiving the same treatment and attentiveness.
Young men need to be taught that they are allowed to have feelings; they are allowed to cry and express their emotions in ways other than anger. We need to teach both young men and young women that it is OK to seek out help, and that there are always answers for those that need them. It is not up to youth to “fix themselves,” it is up to us as adults to provide newer and more relative solutions to youth who have mental health issues.
