I feel lonely. Not all the time, but I feel it now more than I ever have in my life. I felt it when our girls grew up and left home. I felt it when close friends moved away. I feel it when the house is empty, and I am wondering what to do with my day.
I wonder if you feel it too.
Actually, I know you are lonely. I know it because you are constantly on your phone. Every time it rings or dings, you pick it up. You cannot wait or even stop yourself. I know it because some of you spend hours on Facebook. Whether you admit it or not, you are longing for connection.
Some fill the gap by watching so much TV that the people on the shows become their vicarious friends. Listen and you will hear them refer to reality stars, talk show hosts or news anchors as if they know them personally. TV allows us to have people in our homes, without really having people in our homes.
Still others keep themselves busy so that they do not have to feel anything. If loneliness ever creeps in, they stuff it down because it is too hard or too scary to think about what they have lost or what they may lose in the future.
We are experts at avoiding ourselves.
Interestingly, we assume that the cure for loneliness is getting to know more people. However, that does not work. A crowd can be one of the loneliest places of all.
What is the answer then?
The key is not knowing more people. Rather, it is allowing more people to know you.
There is something powerful and life changing about being open and honest. That is why “Alcoholics Anonymous” is so effective. It is the one place, and often the first time, people tell others who they really are and admit their struggles. You cannot do this with everyone, but you need to be able to be open with someone.
Do not wait for others to come to you. The first step is yours.
Take the risk of developing deep relationships. It will improve both your friendships and your faith.
“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22).
