Those Cards need a new starter, too


So then I get home and find out my favourite baseball team, the Cardinals, are apparently in need of a new starting pitcher.

I knew former starter Chris Carpenter was hurting, so figured they needed to replace him for this coming season, but then all the talking heads on TV started discussing this Benedict guy who was retiring too. I thought I knew a lot about the Cards, but Benedict didn't ring a bell.

St. Louis needs a good innings gobbling left hander, I figured, not knowing whether this Benedict was a lefty with a good cutting fastball, or a late inning set-up man out of the bullpen.

That's what happens when you leave the country for a few weeks. You lose track of your teams.

It took me a day before I figured out it was "that other group of Cardinals" who needed a new starter. The Pope was packing it in and the Cards were gathering up their scouting teams from all over the globe and holding their own kind of special spring training camp at the Vatican.

So I figure these Cardinals ... the ones with the red beanie hats, should select a good left hander with a cutter fastball anyway, so if the Pope thing doesn't work out for him, he can join those other Cardinals, or at least get an invitation for a tryout.

As for my recent disappearance, let me assure you, I wasn't in Africa, contrary to what Mr. Saxon may have told you in this space a few weeks ago. He has a fertile imagination.

Well, if truth be known, I did tell him that was where I was heading, but I did that just to divert his attention while amusing ownself.

I did get to see some exotic animals, like camels, and I even have some photos of myself alongside a whole herd of these creatures. I'm the one in the blue shirt.

And my diversion tactic, well that's OK, because last year he told me he was off to Winnipeg and instead he ended up in Pittsburgh sitting around an NHL draft table (well close enough to one), as the Penguins selected one of his relatives. He has a picture to prove he was there too. He's standing beside Mario Lemieux. Mario is the guy on the left with over 400 NHL goals and 837 gazillion dollars. Saxon is the guy on the right, with zero NHL goals but 138 penalty minutes in the Estevan Minor Hockey Association novice division. He has about six bucks and some change and an active access card.

So as it stands now. I'm back at work after three weeks away, I have been retrained and am totally ready for the arrival of spring which I have been assured, may happen any day now.

Note: Upon his return, Park discovered that during his absence, the Bruins of Estevan had made the playoffs, the Leafs and Rangers had each won a hockey game and our primo sports reporter guy Josh "Bushman" Lewis had undergone the rigours of getting a haircut. What could be better than those results?


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