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Twenty lines about... What Russians know about Canada

I still read Russian news on regular basis (since I’m often viewed as somewhat of a representative of my country, I need to know what attitudes and questions to expect). And every so often I come across stories originating from Canada.

I still read Russian news on regular basis (since I’m often viewed as somewhat of a representative of my country, I need to know what attitudes and questions to expect). And every so often I come across stories originating from Canada.

With a lack of Russian-Canadian relationships (except for the times when it comes to hockey, of course) not too many Canadian news articles make it to Russia. And most of those that appear in Russian media are not the ones that make it to breaking news here.

Since I got to know some local realities, many of these stories didn’t seem so catchy to me when I heard about them here. But written up in Russian and actually being pretty much the only news about Canada, they created quite a colourful image of Canada.

I couldn’t resist sharing some of them with you. So here is what Russians learn about Canada from the news.

One of the latest stories came from Montreal at the end of January. A huge picture of a bear that was trampled down on the snow of Lachine Canal at night attracted the attention of many Canadians, who according to Russian media, were scratching their heads over how the artist managed to make a bear’s belly button.

The absence of steps in the middle of the picture generated a hot discussion. The artist was contacted to establish the truth. It turned out that the belly button was a result of five accurate snowball hits.

A little bit earlier, Newfoundland made it to Russian news with a story about 40 seals taking over a small town. According to the newsfeed, there was nothing people could do about it since they weren’t allowed to touch invaders due to the local bylaw.

The wayward animals got disoriented and couldn’t find their way back to the ocean-blocking roads, driveways and doors in Roddickton, and generated a massive Instagram flow.

Mac the Moose’s story also couldn’t go unnoticed in Russia. The rivalry between Norwegian and Canadian communities over the title of having the world’s tallest moose statue attracted a lot of attention. Russians were cheering for the Moose Jaw Mayor Fraser Tolmie's decision to reclaim the record.

Another anecdote also came from Saskatchewan last fall when a farmer woke up to find a house left in the middle of his field. Let me make a remark here, Russians don’t move their houses from one end of the country to another, so this case sounded more like a Wizard-of-Oz-style story. It turned out that the Manitoba company that was transporting this house forgot to grab proper documents. Rather than bring the building all the way back, carriers just dropped it in the field.

A Walmart shoplifting episode that took place in Toronto a couple of years ago even made it to federal Russian TV channels. An 18-year-old man tried to steal a shirt, tie and socks, but was caught and was supposed to get arrested. However, the police officer that arrived on scene found out that the man was ready to commit a crime to improve his chances of getting a job to support his family.

Touched by the story, the officer paid for the clothes and let the man go to make it on time for the interview.

My favourite one I remember from well back. A poor newscaster had to make well over 30 takes on a story, she was laughing so hard while reporting on 13 black bears that were found guarding a hemp field in B.C. A big dog, a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig and a raccoon were making a company to the pot-guardians, who were sitting right next to hemp plants when local RCMP came across the site. 

While the newscaster was wondering what the pig was doing there and why bears were sitting, not standing, the owner of the operation faced charges related to marijuana cultivation. And the local authorities had to take care of bears, which became partially domesticated and couldn’t simply go back to the wilderness.

And of course, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s socks made it to Russian news well over a dozen times. Russian GQ called Trudeau’s socks his secret weapon, which may have left the readers wondering what kind of campaign Canada is making.

I picked just a few stories to share. There is more, but you get the point. Canada has quite a portfolio if you look at it through the Russian news scope. And I don’t know who to blame: Russia – for picking on these adorable news articles, or Canada – for producing them. And sometimes I wish that this kind of news were actually the main problems on our agenda here as well.